To mom and Lily (and then ignorance associated with them)

https://byrslf.co/the-generation-of-blocking-and-ghosting-people-5820094f05b0

The Generation of Blocking and Ghosting People.

Demetra Demi Gregorakis

Apr 29, 2016 · 5 min read

The broken hearts, the family feud — the friend we no longer speak too — the falling outs of life. The people who went ghost on you.

When its really done, when you want to seal the deal that you are fed up entirely over with this soul, you open up your laptop, unlock your phone and do what any normal person would in this generation…hit BLOCK.

You block your ex boyfriend, that annoying coworker, your ex blocks, your ex’s new jealous girlfriend blocks you, your cousin who hates you blocks you, it goes on and on. There are 100 different reasons of why it happens and who does it, but:

It is the ultimate way that anyone can send you a clear message that they want you gone, never to be heard from again.

Instagram: (…) Block User [ Are you Sure?] (Cancel) (Yes I’m Sure)

Twitter- @NoLongerExistsInMyLife will no longer be able to follow or message you. BLOCK.

Facebook — You can block someone to unfriend them and prevent them from starting conversations with you or seeing things you post on your timeline. Block User:__________ BLOCK.

Phew! All Blocked. Now that’s over; I’m Queen B; we are on the way to good vibes all day every day. Screw em’. (insert hair flip here) Namaste.

My opinion: what an ignorant and immature way to flip me off. My mom: I don’t care. My 13-year-old daughter… Really bothers me that she is growing up to be taught to block problems instead of handling them.

Tim Latier, Linda Latier, and Pam Tilley choose to block their problems instead of handling them head on. I find that very immature and irresponsible. Life is hard… Handle your problems accordingly. Not immaturely, or ignorantly.

I sent a text message to my mom on a friends phone, and I felt like shit. I was basically told that I made a poor choice, despite the fact that his niece caused a lot of drama by playing on his phone months ago. Ignorance is causing a lot of problems in the world today. It’s making my heart hurt. I read the messages that my mom sent to the undisclosed third-party, you know what? Why didn’t she ask me? Oh, because she has me immaturely blocked.

My answer: Mom, you do nothing but criticize me and insult me. I’ve always had to walk on eggshells around you, and have failed. I will never live up to your standards. I’m done trying. As far as my daughters, I have fought tooth and nail to see them, or even talk to them. I have passed psychological evaluations, and I’ve never been proven a threat to my daughters. You have no idea how exhausted I am. I’m not “throwing them away”. Whether I did, or didn’t, how would they know? I’m dead to them, because *their dad doesn’t want me to be their mom.

*please don’t defend him, he started this war and has made no effort to end it

Message to my older daughters because I have no way to communicate with them

Awesome to be ignored. Do you think self esteem, depression, and anxiety get easier as you grow older? It doesn’t. With my parents, I said bye Felecia. With my daughters, it’s more hard because I love you as much as I love being alive.

This all started when I missed you girls so much I wanted to die, just months after I almost died. At that moment, instead of getting encouragement, I got a bogus restraining order from your dad. No, life doesn’t get easier.

I’m petrified of what your dad, grandma, and Alyssa’s dads girlfriend are capable of. Alyssa’s dad is somewhat reasonable, but he is impacted by the 3 previously mentioned. I’m so tired of this war.

Tim, Linda, and Maggie, leave me the f alone and let me be a mother to the beautiful daughters that God used me to create.

I’m not entirely sure, other than my suicidal ideation, why Tim and Linda hate me so much. When Linda tried to help me after the wreck, she became insulted I missed my mom. That’s the only bad blood we have, other than her giving me fear by running, unprovoked, and screaming at me multiple times. Tim: hell if I know. Probably because I was awarded residential custody after our divorce and he found a way to take it from me.

*I just looked more close, I was only the residential custodian for school purposes

As I was reading through the divorce decree, I was disgusted and disappointed that he has done a shitty job of upholding what we agreed to:

Intentionally file a bogus restraining order order to alienate them??

(Excuse the page break)

This situation has killed my reputation with my daughters.

So this is for you (since I have no way to communicate): I love you both, and I want things to get better. Your dad filed all of this, I’m simply fighting for the chance to be your mom: a rebuttal. He has made it clear that he doesn’t want you in your life, you should see that as a fact on how your grandma went off on me as my friend tried to leave you clothes. I asked permission from you guys before I dropped them off, (namely through your grandma tilley), and was TOLD OFF by your grandma Latier.

Lily: “I don’t see a reason why it would be a problem for you to drop off clothes”… you don’t because you don’t believe that your dad and your grandma want me dead. They wanted me dead when I was in a coma.

I’m tired of the Latier drama and I just want a positive relationship with my daughters.

What I would talk about to my daughters if I could:

Lily: did you know Jackson 5 is from Gary, Indiana? Isn’t that from where stranger things is?

Emma: Shane bought me an Apple Watch for (non) Valentine’s Day (he thinks Valentine’s Day is dumb but wanted to give me a gift), and I don’t know how to use it 🙈 it’s way too fancy for me 🤣

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU GIRLS AND WANT THINGS TO GET BETTER.

I’ll keep buying new board games, until we find our perfect match!

Proverbs 27:3

I tried to drop 2 lawn and leaf bags of my old clothes (mostly name brand) for my older 2 daughters and my ex husbands mom LINDA LATIER comes out screaming at me (in front of my daughters). She claims she is Christian. I find that hard to believe. She has such a black heart and a corrupt soul.

I’m saddened that my daughters had to see such hatred. I’m not sure if they support her behavior, or not. There are moms out there that push their kids off on someone else and don’t take care of their kids, then there is me: fighting tooth and nail to even get the opportunity to see my kids.

I explained to my youngest daughter this morning that Linda Latier is evil. She asked why TJ and Linda “not like you”, I said I’m not sure. I told her that I thought it was because I didn’t want to be married to TJ.

It’s because I survived the wreck, or I was depressed after I survived the wreck.

As I’ve said, the one that suffers is Noah. He is growing up without sisters.

Lying in bed, missing my 2 oldest

I’m not sure how 1 judge can think I’m a good mom and 1 judge believe the lies of a vengeful ex husband.

I know my daughters get upset when I mention their dad, but how in the hell am I supposed to feel that he kicked me when I was down? I was in a car accident, lost my life as i knew it, and wondered why i was alive. He shoved a knife in my back.

I’m supposed to pretend that didn’t happen?

Made up a bogus restraining order? Alienated me from my daughters?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL?

Am I supposed to just forget they exist? Keep fighting for them?

There is no right answer. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

He took most of the photos and videos from me while I was in a coma, this is most of what I have:

I enjoy every moment I’m awake with my 2 youngest

Day to day

I’m really enjoying this holiday season. The last couple Christmas’ haven’t been too exceptional, but this year is turning out wonderful, despite some negativity.

As most of those close-to-me know, my older daughters have made the decision to not include me in their lives, and I’m forced to respect and accept that. I have to cling to the knowledge that my 2 youngest love me so strong, and I cherish every minute being the best mom I can to them.

I’m being the best mom to them I’m able to be.

Do I want to be that type of mom to my older daughters? Absolutely. They don’t want me as a mom and I am forced to accept that. What makes me sad is that their little brother is forced to accept that, as well.

I’d like to share with you all some of the fun moments I’m sharing with my babies 💜

My daughters part 2

I’m so incredibly hurt that Tim Latier and his family has done nothing but try to eliminate me from my daughters lives. I was told today that he was the one that suggested they talk to the judge… i know that’s because he is fairly confident they will tell the judge they aren’t interested in having me in their lives. That is such a severe knife in my back. I miss the girls quite a bit, but I’m mentally preparing myself to not be their mother anymore. I feel like a step mom to them… I’m out of their lives and he replaces me with his girlfriends. I’m not sure how someone could be so evil to a mother. I’m slowly eliminating them out of my house. I have boxes of their crafts and school papers that I’m going to throw away because as I lie here sobbing, they are just thorns of the life that Tim Latier has taken from me.

My daughters

I don’t know if this is how my daughters feel, or they really don’t want me in their lives. I feel like if they wanted me in their lives, they would fight for me to be in it. I may not have been the best mom, but I tried my damned hardest. I took them out to breakfast, took them to events, to the zoo, played games with them, cooked fun meals with them, and I haven’t had a relationship with them in 4 years. I certainly hope they haven’t thrown me away so easily and so quickly. At least I have my youngest and her brother, on the way. I really wanted my daughters to be part of this pregnancy, but I’m not even sure he will meet his sisters.

I miss my Emma and Lily

I’m so excited that I have got to spend more time with my youngest, but it doesn’t repair the fact that I am completely alienated from my older two daughters.

I enjoy life with my youngest, they enjoy life with my youngest, but we’ve never get to enjoy life together.

I would love to take them to the zoo, I would love to take them to COSI, I would love to take them to a waterpark, recreational park, hiking, swimming, gym, I would love to do anything with the three of them together.

It is been brought to my attention that they are not interested in having more time with me. Their father filed a motion asking to cease the one hour I get a week with them, because that’s what they want.

I find that hard to believe because I enjoy and love the time with my daughters so much. Do they really hate me? Have I really been that bad of a mom? Their paternal family has almost completely alienated them from their maternal family, myself included, so why would they want a mom? Their lives are completely fine without one, or so they are led to believe.

I’m heartbroken because I have lost so much time with my daughters and they have moved on without me... I’m out of their lives. There’s no reparation that they are interested in. There’s nothing I can do to show them I’m not the monster they believe I am. There’s nothing I can do to show them I have loved them since before they were born. I have done everything I could to provide them with a happy future, but they have moved on without me. I was never perfect, and I made mistakes. I’m sorry for the mistakes that I have made.

There are no second chances with them, and I’m heartbroken.

I am trying to raise money for psychological evaluations… I need help. I simply don’t have the funds. I want to be able to go to therapy with my daughters to be the mom they need, but I’m so alienated, I don’t even know what that is.

Please help me to help them.

I guess I should focus on my youngest and wait for my older daughters to decide if they want a mother.

Sorry for the heartbroken blog, but I have realized I failed at being a mother, twice, but I won’t fail with Alyssa. Maybe I will meet my Prince Charming and have the family I’ve always dreamed of, but for now it’s just Alyssa and I.

Thank you for stopping and come again soon.

I was happy to support you

Love me or hate me, I’m so thankful I gave birth to you. Someday maybe you will want me in your life, but I respect you don’t now. It’s devastating as a mom to feel/hear, but I don’t expect you to sympathize. Anyway, it was worth the trip.

Woman/cat meme

The stalker picture is mostly for my… stalkers… well, one that I know of 🐶

1) I’m not interested in sweeping my problems under a rug, which is why I suggested therapy.

2) therapy isn’t playtime. The visitation center is where play time occurs.

3) how can things be going well, and all of the sudden you change your mind? It was a stupid blog about me spending thanksgiving alone. Don’t be selfish and turn it into something more dramatic, I’m pretty sure you didn’t spend thanksgiving alone with your infant and toddler because you’re a failure and no one wants you around (which is what everyone wants me to believe). Alyssa and Noah love me, I would rather spend it with them than with people that look down on me.

Is this what you want?

Lily- I know you can’t stand me. Whatever. I thought you and I had a better relationship than that, but I guess not.

Emma- is this what you want? I just want things to go back to normal. No more fine tooth comb. No more blocking. I’m assuming since you haven’t pushed the issue of texting me that you don’t want me in your life. When Alyssa and I visited you at work, that’s what I want. I didn’t get upset that I was of no interest to you, but it made me happy Alyssa was happy to see you.

It’s horrible as a mother to be thrown out like trash by your daughters, in addition to the rest of your family.

Your dad can make all of this drama go away, but doesn’t. I just want the opportunity to be a mom to you and find out how you are doing. I just want to be a mom to help you through tough times, but this legal drama your dad created has made me a “tough time”. I’m a complete stranger to you guys.

I hope you guys learn to deal with your problems instead of blocking and running. It’s very immature and irresponsible. This all started over me being sad that I was alone with Alyssa and Noah on Thanksgiving. I’m not even sure what, specifically, bothered you, because instead of talking to me, you blocked me and ran. 👎

Thanks

Thanks for the memories.

Emma and Lily just told me goodbye- “not forever”… bullshit. They look at me the way their dad looks at me- as a failure.

At least I have Alyssa and Noah.

I’m done trying. I need to move on without them. Lily looks at me with disgust when she sees me. I bought her 8 different types of loose leaf tea because I knew she likes them. I bought Emma a “proud army girlfriend” shirt. Apparently, I don’t respect how they feel. You know what? I don’t know how they feel, because for 5 years I haven’t had a casual conversation with them.

In 5 minutes I’m going to have to explain to their 3 year old sister that she won’t get to see them tonight. She has been looking forward to it all day.

Tim- it’s not over!

The fact that Tim will not close the case is proof that he’s very two-faced and doesn’t want me in the girls life.

Tim’s the same guy that teamed with my enemies (who text me they were conspiring with Tim to eliminate me from the girls lives) and claimed I asked my enemies to kill them. That’s screwed up on many levels.

You want to talk to me about living in the past? The fact that I could only communicate with my daughters once every 2 weeks at a therapy appointment is the past. That’s not normal. I (more than anyone else) want normal. I’m tired of living under a judgmental microscope of Emma, Lily, Tim, Maggie McClung, and anyone associated with them. I realized yesterday that I’m miserable when I’m around Emma and Lily because I feel so much pressure of judgment. I made the comment for the first time in a long time, “maybe I shouldn’t have survived the accident”. It surprised me because prior to that I hadn’t said that in years, and when I did it was in reference to my daughters.

I started taking down photos of Emma and Lily again last night because seeing them is heart-wrenching, everyday. I put up Christmas decorations of theirs that I need to put away (ornaments, artwork) They don’t want me in their life and I have to respect that. It rips my heart out that this blog is the only way I can tell them how crushed I am.

Imagine raising 2 daughters and them telling you they don’t want you in their life. It’s very sad.

Thank you for breaking my heart, right before Christmas.

Mother of (2)

What you don’t understand is I’m separated from my kids and is incredibly difficult to deal with. It’s weird if you don’t understand that.

Lily has turned against me. (Confirmed) I’m pretty sure Emma has, too, but puts on a good act of pretending she loves me. (Confirmed 11/24/2019)

This is all a sick game to eliminate me from my daughters lives. They find joy out of this and that makes me sad.

If they wanted peace, I would entertain the thought of it. I have to force myself to forget about Emma and Lily.

Revised: 11/24/2019

I cherish the time I have with my 2 children, Alyssa and Noah 🥰