Message to my older daughters because I have no way to communicate with them

Awesome to be ignored. Do you think self esteem, depression, and anxiety get easier as you grow older? It doesn’t. With my parents, I said bye Felecia. With my daughters, it’s more hard because I love you as much as I love being alive.

This all started when I missed you girls so much I wanted to die, just months after I almost died. At that moment, instead of getting encouragement, I got a bogus restraining order from your dad. No, life doesn’t get easier.

I’m petrified of what your dad, grandma, and Alyssa’s dads girlfriend are capable of. Alyssa’s dad is somewhat reasonable, but he is impacted by the 3 previously mentioned. I’m so tired of this war.

Tim, Linda, and Maggie, leave me the f alone and let me be a mother to the beautiful daughters that God used me to create.

I’m not entirely sure, other than my suicidal ideation, why Tim and Linda hate me so much. When Linda tried to help me after the wreck, she became insulted I missed my mom. That’s the only bad blood we have, other than her giving me fear by running, unprovoked, and screaming at me multiple times. Tim: hell if I know. Probably because I was awarded residential custody after our divorce and he found a way to take it from me.

*I just looked more close, I was only the residential custodian for school purposes

As I was reading through the divorce decree, I was disgusted and disappointed that he has done a shitty job of upholding what we agreed to:

Intentionally file a bogus restraining order order to alienate them??

(Excuse the page break)

This situation has killed my reputation with my daughters.

So this is for you (since I have no way to communicate): I love you both, and I want things to get better. Your dad filed all of this, I’m simply fighting for the chance to be your mom: a rebuttal. He has made it clear that he doesn’t want you in your life, you should see that as a fact on how your grandma went off on me as my friend tried to leave you clothes. I asked permission from you guys before I dropped them off, (namely through your grandma tilley), and was TOLD OFF by your grandma Latier.

Lily: “I don’t see a reason why it would be a problem for you to drop off clothes”… you don’t because you don’t believe that your dad and your grandma want me dead. They wanted me dead when I was in a coma.

I’m tired of the Latier drama and I just want a positive relationship with my daughters.

What I would talk about to my daughters if I could:

Lily: did you know Jackson 5 is from Gary, Indiana? Isn’t that from where stranger things is?

Emma: Shane bought me an Apple Watch for (non) Valentine’s Day (he thinks Valentine’s Day is dumb but wanted to give me a gift), and I don’t know how to use it 🙈 it’s way too fancy for me 🤣

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU GIRLS AND WANT THINGS TO GET BETTER.

I’ll keep buying new board games, until we find our perfect match!

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