Month: March 2026

Last night, I shared a wonderful dinner with a close friend who really brightened my spirits. It’s funny how I sometimes feel like I don’t have any friends, but I realize I take responsibility for that. It would be selfish to expect everyone to come running to me to make plans. Tierney said she was just thinking that recently, it was God scheduling our plans. Remember, I had dinner with Natasha last month. That really boosted my spirits, too. Look at me being all social and stuff🤪. Spending quality time with her reminded me of how important connection is, especially when you’re juggling the complexities of life.

We talked about my brain injury and how forgetfulness can be a daily challenge. I shared a recent panic I had while shopping at Kohl’s, convinced I lost my phone. I was frantically heading toward the front door when I realized my phone was sitting right in the cart’s tray. 🙄 It’s moments like these that remind me of the importance of being present and aware, even if my mind sometimes drifts.

Reflecting on my experiences has led me to some interesting realizations. A memory from my childhood keeps resurfacing. My mom once taught me about state capitals, and I recall her saying that “Dolly Madison” came from Wisconsin. This made me mistakenly think that Little Debbie snacks were also from Wisconsin! It’s a silly mix-up, but it highlights how powerful mnemonic techniques can be; they’ve shaped how I remember things throughout my life. Lately, I’ve been utilizing these techniques more than ever as I navigate my forgetfulness. I find myself making odd connections to help me remember details, illustrating just how fascinating our brains can be.

Speaking of how our brains work, the other day while heading to Rural King for a project, I encountered a gentleman in the parking lot who shared his own struggles with mobility after suffering a stroke. When I mentioned my traumatic brain injury, he opened up about his experiences, including how his legs sometimes freeze when he walks. I was taken aback to learn that someone else shares this difficulty. I stood there, listening intently, realizing I might be the only person who listened to him that day. Giving him my time felt like the most valuable thing I could do, and it was a beautiful reminder of the power of connection through shared stories.

I’ve noticed that dedicating my time to others brings me joy. Listening to the stories of elders is important, their voices deserve to be heard. In our busy lives, we often forget to stop, breathe, and listen to one another. It’s a simple act that can make an enormous difference.

My therapist encouraged me to keep a journal focused on that positivity, and I write in it almost every day. I reflect on the moments throughout that day that made me happy and think about how I can continue to contribute positively to the world. I’ve made mistakes in the past, I’m not perfect, and I still stumble. I’m learning to forgive myself and to focus on the good. I strive to let people share their stories, express appreciation to veterans, and even offer kind words to strangers who might be overlooked. The girl with the mean look, bright pink hair, and black lipstick? Yeah, I make it a point to wish her a good day. Reactions vary—some people respond with warmth, while others give me strange looks—but I’m not concerned with that. My goal is to spread positivity.

Lately, I’ve become more resilient to negativity. I find myself reflecting on a saying I shared in my last blog… I think… 🤔 : if you have $10,000 and someone steals $1,000, would you give them the remaining $9000? It’s a reminder not to dwell on what bothers me. If it bothers me, it’s already taken up too much of my time. Let it go. Whether it’s someone cutting me off in traffic or a negative comment, I’m learning to let things pass and focus on the bigger picture. I refuse to let the world dictate how my day goes, I’m committed to making each day a good one.

Tonight, as I sat in my living room lost in thought, a song came to mind, and I found myself crying.

I’ll praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands. For You are who You are no matter where I am. And every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

I’m crying as I write this now. This has been one hell of a storm, but Jesus defeated hell. His victory is truly awesome.

I long for my babies to come back home, and through it all, I will continue to praise Him in the storm.

In sharing these thoughts, I hope you find inspiration in your own connections and reflections. Let’s keep listening, sharing, and supporting one another.

Waking up from a coma threw me into a whirlwind. Everything felt chaotic, and I was completely lost, trying to make sense of it all. Diving back into “normal” life was anything but straightforward, and my challenges seemed to multiply as I navigated relationships and my mental health. From the moment I woke up, I felt attacked and that put me into fight or flight mode. 

My first relationship after the wreck mirrored my first marriage in many ways. I craved the idea of a family, often without caring who I built it with. I had hoped that my ex-husband and I would reunite and become a family again, but his rejection hit hard. It felt like he killed a part of me in every way possible. In my vulnerability, I fell for someone recovering from cocaine and alcoholism. He made me feel important and gave me a glimpse of what it might be like to have a family with him. Looking back, that was one of the worst decisions I could have made

I also faced challenges with my older daughters, who seemed to hate me, to this day. I tried to show them love, but they didn’t understand and became even more violently hateful. They were rarely around me, and they were influenced by people that were filled with a deep hatred toward me. It often felt like nobody respected me or cared that I existed. During this time, I felt engulfed in a fog of depression that clouded my vision. When I got pregnant with my daughter, suddenly, I had a purpose. My son, Noah, came along, further fueling my resolve to fight. I devoted myself to them, but juggling everything, especially with my disability, took a toll on my mental health. I was running them to, and from places with very little, if any, help.  I had a little to no contribution to the financial obligations and running them multiple places every day of the week. Some days they had multiple events to go to. 24/7/365

For so long, I felt invisible, like people saw my struggles as just excuses. The past six months have been especially tough with children’s services, making me feel like my life has no meaning. It often felt like they would celebrate my demise rather than support my growth and my family becoming whole again.

Lately, I’ve started to see my own worth. I’m incredibly smart and can tackle problems, even when they seem impossible. I’m empathetic, more often than not, showing kindness to those who might not deserve it. I refuse to let other people’s negative views define me. I am strong, resilient, and my faith is solid, despite everything I’ve been through.

So here’s my new favorite saying: “I’m not just a survivor; I’m proof that even in a world of chaos, I can still shine brighter than the negativity around me!” Yes, I may still struggle with deep depression, but I’ve come to realize that my depression is not about my worth; it’s about how horrible the world can be and how some people can be downright evil. Basically, the world sucks.

Forgiveness is a tough one for me. I’ve been praying for help to let go of the anger and bitterness I carry. It’s easy to say I forgive someone, but truly doing it? That’s a different story. The hatred I feel for some people is mentally exhausting. Still, I know I have to keep growing, even when hate and judgment come my way.

If you’re reading this and don’t believe me or find amusement in this blog, then it sounds like you’re part of the problem in the world. What joy could you possibly get out of making a struggling humans life miserable?

I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I genuinely believe better days are ahead. Each day is a step toward healing, growth, and reclaiming my life on my own terms.

If you have $10,000 and somebody steals $1000, would you give them the other $9000? I am giving my joy to people that have stole a piece of it. I’m defending myself now… I have worth and you don’t deserve to steal my joy.

My mind is evolving into a positive environment. Individuals who disrupt and occupy the space rent free, will be towed at their own expense.

Additionally, if you received an email requesting an apology, please note that I am still awaiting your response. 😉