While driving to Toledo today, I used voice-to-text to capture and share the thoughts and feelings that surfaced along the way. There’s something about a long drive—just you, the road, and your own mind—that brings buried truths up to the surface. Today, mine asked to be spoken out loud.

For nearly eleven years, I’ve carried a toxic belief about myself—one I said out loud and felt deep in my bones. I thought I was damaged. Not because anyone told me directly (even though some did), but because after the accident, I was never quite the same. I wasn’t as strong, as steady, or as confident as I used to be. Physically, I had been in a great place. Mentally, I thought I was too… but looking back, that wasn’t completely true.

A couple of weeks ago, someone told me that I “identify myself as damaged.” This came from someone who has walked through trauma herself—she’s damaged after nearly losing her son to leukemia. But here’s the truth: she isn’t a psychologist. She isn’t a behavioral analyst. She’s simply someone with an opinion.

And honestly? I’m done letting other people’s opinions define me.

Letting Go of Ego, Pride, and Other People’s Voices

I was listening to Jeremy Camp’s song “Survivor”, and the lyrics hit me in a way I wasn’t expecting. When he sings about throwing ego and pride into the fire and letting only the survivor remain, it felt personal.

Whether my ego is big or small, it needs to stop running the show.

Whether my pride is strong or weak, it needs to lose its grip.

Every day I’m learning new ways to adapt, grow, and handle struggles. And one of the most important lessons I’m learning is this:

Stop letting other people’s opinions decide who I am.

Whether I’m damaged, healing, broken, or rebuilding—those are conversations between me and God. Not random people who haven’t held a meaningful conversation with me in an over a decade, if ever. Not people who know only rumors or assumptions.

People love to have opinions. And sure, everyone has a rear end, and everyone knows what comes out of it.

Working on Myself Doesn’t Mean I’m Broken

Yes, I have some residual effects from a brain injury. Yes, I’m working on myself every single day. That doesn’t make me damaged—it makes me human, it makes me resilient, and it makes me honest about where I am.

Meanwhile, the people who cling to hatred toward me… I genuinely feel sorry for them. Because hatred is heavy. It eats you from the inside. It takes every negative thought and amplifies it until you forget what peace feels like.

I know this because I’ve had my own battles with hatred. I’m actively working on that. When those toxic thoughts surface, I tell them to leave. I take authority over negativity because if I don’t, it will take authority over me.

For Anyone Struggling: The Strength Is Already in You

If you’re dealing with addiction, anger, bitterness, or any mindset that feels like it’s controlling you, hear me:

You have more control than you think.

Movies love the cliché of someone searching for strength they’ve had inside all along. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. We often look outward for solutions when so much of the answer is already in us.

And if you’re filled with hatred toward me personally? You don’t have to be. Hatred is a choice—one that only hurts you. I can’t say I’m perfect in this area either, but I am working to take control over those thoughts instead of letting them consume me.

Keeping hatred inside only punishes me, and life has already punished me enough. I don’t need to do it to myself.

Analyze your thoughts. They matter more than you realize.

This is what I’m practicing daily, and what I encourage you to try:

Pay attention to your thoughts—especially the loud ones.

If hatred toward someone, or pain, or bitterness, or resentment is taking up mental space multiple times a day, it isn’t healthy. It’s not helping you. And it’s not permanent.

Whatever is consuming your mind, you can cast it out.

You deserve peace.

You deserve healing.

You deserve freedom from other people’s opinions.

And so do I. 🫶🖤