Month: December 2025

There’s a quiet kind of growth that happens in the moments no one sees—the moments when you choose kindness even when it’s hard, or when you create joy for someone who may never acknowledge it. I’ve learned that growth rarely comes wrapped in comfort; sometimes it shows up in the small, complicated decisions that test who we are at our core.

Recently, I found myself reflecting on something as simple as making Christmas gifts with my daughter over the years. Coasters, crafts, handmade keepsakes—the kinds of things that carry more heart than perfection. Many of those gifts were for people who, to be honest, would probably never choose kindness toward me. “Enemies,” if we’re being honest.

Did I receive thank-yous? No, not really. Did I expect to? Not at all.

What I did receive—and what I didn’t realize I was seeking—was a sense of peace. The joy of sitting with my daughter, creating something beautiful together, and modeling grace in situations where bitterness would have been the easier route. Even at my lowest points, I’ve pushed myself to stay positive, or at least to reach for positivity, no matter how far away it felt.

And the more I grow, the more I realize something else:

Happiness doesn’t come from your appearance or from others’ approval.

It comes from the intentions behind your actions, even when no one ever notices them.

Lately, that sense of intention has shown up in unexpected places—like the grocery store aisle. I never imagined adulthood would mean standing there with my glasses on, reading every food label like I’m cracking a secret code. I don’t particularly enjoy being the adult who has to compare grams of sugar and look up ingredients I can’t pronounce. Honestly, there are days I miss the version of me who ate whatever she wanted without a second thought. But even in that small frustration, there’s growth. There’s awareness. There’s intention.

And intention, I’m learning, is everything.

It turns out happiness isn’t found in effortless choices—it’s found in the choices that reflect who you’re becoming. The choices rooted in love, self-respect, and the desire to do better, even when it’s inconvenient or unglamorous. The choices God sees, quietly and clearly.

I’ve said it more recently than ever: God knows the intentions of your heart. He knows what’s in your mind. And that truth has been reshaping the way I move through the world—one gift, one moment of kindness, and yes, one food label at a time.

So today, and every day, I hope happiness finds you in your own heart and in your own mind. Not because everything around you is perfect, but because your intentions are rooted in goodness, growth, and honesty.

And if I happen to lose a few more pounds along the way… well, I certainly won’t complain. 😬

While driving to Toledo today, I used voice-to-text to capture and share the thoughts and feelings that surfaced along the way. There’s something about a long drive—just you, the road, and your own mind—that brings buried truths up to the surface. Today, mine asked to be spoken out loud.

For nearly eleven years, I’ve carried a toxic belief about myself—one I said out loud and felt deep in my bones. I thought I was damaged. Not because anyone told me directly (even though some did), but because after the accident, I was never quite the same. I wasn’t as strong, as steady, or as confident as I used to be. Physically, I had been in a great place. Mentally, I thought I was too… but looking back, that wasn’t completely true.

A couple of weeks ago, someone told me that I “identify myself as damaged.” This came from someone who has walked through trauma herself—she’s damaged after nearly losing her son to leukemia. But here’s the truth: she isn’t a psychologist. She isn’t a behavioral analyst. She’s simply someone with an opinion.

And honestly? I’m done letting other people’s opinions define me.

Letting Go of Ego, Pride, and Other People’s Voices

I was listening to Jeremy Camp’s song “Survivor”, and the lyrics hit me in a way I wasn’t expecting. When he sings about throwing ego and pride into the fire and letting only the survivor remain, it felt personal.

Whether my ego is big or small, it needs to stop running the show.

Whether my pride is strong or weak, it needs to lose its grip.

Every day I’m learning new ways to adapt, grow, and handle struggles. And one of the most important lessons I’m learning is this:

Stop letting other people’s opinions decide who I am.

Whether I’m damaged, healing, broken, or rebuilding—those are conversations between me and God. Not random people who haven’t held a meaningful conversation with me in an over a decade, if ever. Not people who know only rumors or assumptions.

People love to have opinions. And sure, everyone has a rear end, and everyone knows what comes out of it.

Working on Myself Doesn’t Mean I’m Broken

Yes, I have some residual effects from a brain injury. Yes, I’m working on myself every single day. That doesn’t make me damaged—it makes me human, it makes me resilient, and it makes me honest about where I am.

Meanwhile, the people who cling to hatred toward me… I genuinely feel sorry for them. Because hatred is heavy. It eats you from the inside. It takes every negative thought and amplifies it until you forget what peace feels like.

I know this because I’ve had my own battles with hatred. I’m actively working on that. When those toxic thoughts surface, I tell them to leave. I take authority over negativity because if I don’t, it will take authority over me.

For Anyone Struggling: The Strength Is Already in You

If you’re dealing with addiction, anger, bitterness, or any mindset that feels like it’s controlling you, hear me:

You have more control than you think.

Movies love the cliché of someone searching for strength they’ve had inside all along. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. We often look outward for solutions when so much of the answer is already in us.

And if you’re filled with hatred toward me personally? You don’t have to be. Hatred is a choice—one that only hurts you. I can’t say I’m perfect in this area either, but I am working to take control over those thoughts instead of letting them consume me.

Keeping hatred inside only punishes me, and life has already punished me enough. I don’t need to do it to myself.

Analyze your thoughts. They matter more than you realize.

This is what I’m practicing daily, and what I encourage you to try:

Pay attention to your thoughts—especially the loud ones.

If hatred toward someone, or pain, or bitterness, or resentment is taking up mental space multiple times a day, it isn’t healthy. It’s not helping you. And it’s not permanent.

Whatever is consuming your mind, you can cast it out.

You deserve peace.

You deserve healing.

You deserve freedom from other people’s opinions.

And so do I. 🫶🖤