I said that I had only 2 kids— that’s not true. I have 4. Two of them care that I care about them. I have had an eye-opening weekend, and Emma: you’ll be thankful I’m choosing to write a journal instead of blog. No it’s not because you told me “no one cares how you feel lol”, it’s because I can’t force you or Lily to love me, and I accept me. I learned over the weekend I AM INCREDIBLE. I defied odds. But you know what? I agree with therapy and medication, not weed and alcohol.

As I said this will be my last personal blog for a while. I really hope you two girls decide that medication and therapy is a positive option, because you’re both having emotional difficulties. I have emotional difficulties. Your dad does (or will admit he did in the past). Both of your grandmothers have emotional difficulty (and I’m happy my mom has embraced it and moved forward, your paternal grandma not so much)

If I have a life without you, I will be sad. Please know that your entire lives I have attempted to give you good memories, and I’ve attached a link below. Love me, hate me… idgaf. I know I tried and I’m damn proud of who I am today 🫶