Falling-up

Hi everyone! It’s been a while since I have posted. I have been very busy with the love of my life, Alyssa. We have so much fun together and I find ways to educate her while I’m playing with her.

Something has been on my mind quite a bit lately: the decade+ I spent in a fake religion.

I have been attending a church for about half of a year, and it has showed me how different faith is from religion.

The church I attended for most of my adulthood, New Hope Full Gospel, had me brainwashed into what I thought was faith. I’m not, necessarily, blaming them, I’m blaming myself for allowing that to happen. There are things now that have showed me that I was materialistic as I was attending there.

Example: they had a series about how secular music will cause your soul to go to hell, so we had to burn everything secular-music related to be approved by the congregation. In Numbers 22 God used a donkey to speak to His child, so why can’t He use a series of musical notes to speak to me? Irregardless of the spiritual faith of the composer, which I don’t necessarily know, if I feel a connection to Him, how is that not spiritually fulfilling and enriching my life? Instead of trying to research, assume, and judge the faith of particular musicians, maybe I should focus on mistakes I have made recently and how to repair them, if possible. Maybe I should try to hear what he is saying to me.

The disappointment from that church I attended for almost 2 decades put a negative connotation on my faith, I’m embarrassed to say. It’s not just my ex-husband and his family/friends, but even the pastor and his family. I found out that because he is friends with my ex-husbands old attorney, he blocked me on Facebook. It’s irrelevant that I went to him asking for spiritual help, he was friendly with me/prayed with me, and then started drama with his friend.

The church I am attending now has been doing a series on things that drive us crazy.

This drives me absolutely crazy. ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

Hypocrisy:

Uneducated judgment: aka ignorance

JUDGING A PERSON DOES NOT DEFINE WHO THEY ARE.

It defines who you are.

So in conclusion, thank you to my past family (church or not) for judging me and dismissing me. I love you all and wish you the best, and will not bother you with my presence. 😊 I have a great amount of friends that love me and people depend on since you have “picked your side”, or whatever.

Thanks for stopping by! 😘😘😘

To Venus and Back ↩️

I posted to my social media account my observance of my strength. The last couple of weeks have been emotionally stressful. I am now to the point where I am calm, collected, peaceful, etc. I am very happy and very content despite the troubled adversaries I’m forced to converge with.

When only one party is making an effort to be respectful and cooperative, it can be difficult. I look at this intricate time as a test, and I’m quite confident in saying that I will do quite well, namely in the 4 weeks to come.

A close friend of mine has been encouraging me to take a few moments to myself and relax. I’m consistently advising you acquaintances to celebrate you and look for positivity, but rarely do I take the time to advise you “proactively”. By advising you, I am suggesting you do (something).

YOU.

Sometimes it’s good to say ME.

Today’s agenda:

I offered a friend some money for helping me with a project. I had sold some items that weren’t important to me and saved up some money. She declined. I had told a close friend about it and he advised I use it in some time of relaxation technique. I politely declined because I’m not selfish. 🙄😂

I spend quite a bit of time video chatting with a gentleman-friend. Last night, I was complaining of my forehead dimple. I had never noticed it before, but I guess when you get to be old like me, you have wrinkles pop out of nowhere. 🤷‍♀️

I immediately decided that I needed to have a microdermabrasion. I spent the remainder of our video chat session researching where I wanted to get my microdermabrasion. I knew I wanted it mechanically, I’ve had them manually and I wasn’t impressed.

Well, I woke up this morning and decided for the first time in YEARS, I deserved a spa day to reward me for all I have went through on the journey to today.

I made an appointment at one of my favorite local spas where I received a very relaxing facial that included machine microdermabrasion. Wow. It had been YEARS since I had a spa day, and it was beyond relaxing. What a blessing in disguise, they were running a special today only! 🎉 I was able to share my story and self-improvement bloggery concept with not only my aesthetician, Kim, and a couple others. That made my heart happy. 💜 I told them about my 5.3, 4.8 and 4.4lb purposes ending it with they have shown me that I am my purpose. 🙏

I took myself to the mall and purchased a couple AE shirts that were on sale. I sauntered and hastily took my time, because I deserve it.

I felt led to call a close friend I had been worried about, while I stopped for an afternoon latte. God had placed her on my heart. She lives an hour or so away, and so unselfishly volunteered to help me with an upcoming project, but I know her life is demanding. As I was talking to her, I felt as though I, personally, needed to hear it.

Here are the things I told her:

  • Let it out: yes, confide in a trusted ally. If you don’t, you will burst. I have a couple friends that I trust and are there for me, and this bloggery is also a release-portal.

  • Be forgiving: of yourself, of others, of everyone.

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. As simple as that.

  • Breathe. In/out/repeat. Which leads me to…

  • Treat yourself to a mini-vacation. Even if it’s to McDonald’s for an hour to drink a cup of coffee and work on your Star Chef (app) cafe, or Bermuda for a week. It’s the same if you breathe and evaluate your sabbaticals

  • Treat yourself to a Prince (RIP #ArtistFormallyKnownAs🥂) shirt

Everyone knows no Stephanie day would be complete without a stop at a local thrift store. 😂 My day got even more awesome as I purchased cd’s (5 for$1) to play in Pipsqueak’s karaoke machine. I picked out 10 great cds for karaoke time and background music, but 2 caught my attention rapidly.

A local band that will ever have a legacy (Marbles for Eyes, Matthew Busybee Smith). I have their CD, but I couldn’t pass it up.

To Venus and Back, Tori Amos, Atlantic/1999- I bought it for 1,000 Oceans, but belted it in my vanaoke-session on the way home. The lyrics put my day into perspective… relaxation calms the spirit. I need to take care of my soul.

It clicked after I reflected on my day with a close friend:

The moral of the story is:

STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES! 🙂

And check out To Venus and Back. It’s a great album that contains Alyssa and I’s song 1000 Oceans, and another good song, Concertina(you’re the fiercest calm I’ve been in)

Ok, Mike, Mariah, and Jordan, next up… meditation… promise.