🌈We’re not that different after all⭐️

In my path of learning how to deal with my personality and emotions, I have learned how routinely respect myself and others. I have such an appreciation for my friends, it’s not that I haven’t had such wonderful friends in my past, I haven’t looked at our differences and/or similarities as meticulously as I am now.

As cliche as it is to say, a majority of women have comparable predicaments. I was talking with a dear friend last night about bloggery, amongst other projects, and I was able to give advice and encouragement to her, and I needed to hear that myself.

The same struggles she was dealing with are very similar to the ones I feel, and I’m not sure if she realized that by talking about them, she brought up some very explanatory matters that I had never thought of.

That, my friends, is a form of altruism. By sharing her struggles with me, it caused me to be able to relate and offer support. That support was a refresher course to me.I needed that. By sharing her struggles with me, she helped me grow.

After realizing we also have obstinate personalities in common, I laughed.

We’re not that different after all.

Women, as a whole.

I have a muse and a musess that I address when I feel the need to partake in bloggery, and the suggestion was to discuss (sporadic) vloggery. That opened an interesting, informative conversation, so much I didn’t know or hadn’t heard about.

Don’t live in fear that you’re “just not good enough” or “people are making fun of you”. Who cares? <If blogging inspires you, do it!>

Don’t throw stones from glass houses…

if you have flaws, and guess what: I know you do, don’t humiliate or attack someone on social media because you don’t like them. I heard I was recently called a ‘mess‘ by someone I don’t think highly of and don’t have a whole lot of respect for, that’s throwing stones from a glass house. All I can say is I hope she makes peaceful, positive changes for the worlds sake.

Think outside the box:

How are they different? Is there a reason why they are? Can you relate in any way? More often than not, you can find ways to understand others that you may be inclined to judge or feel sorry for. Like the car that cut you off: maybe they are stressed; maybe they have an ill child/friend/family member; maybe they did it selfishly… who knows, who cares. Let it go. You don’t know, and you get no benefit from wasting energy on it.

So the moral of the story is:

  • Appreciate differences
  • Respect differences
  • Embrace differences

Life hackery:)

One trait I learned, honestly, was problem solving. Between my mom and my dad, anything could be fixed and every problem could be solved.

Recently, my friend was complaining about his windows fogging up no matter what his defroster was set on, I explained there is an easy fix to that: put an old sock filled with kitty litter on your dash.

That got me thinking… We all have a little bit of information to share that others may not know. Im going to take this as an opportunity to share life hacks that have helped me and some I have learned from my friends.


Hackery Shmackery

•obviously, sock of rice for fog

•Vinegar can clean anything! I run it through my coffee makers, put a cup of it in my clothes, and sporadically spray it on my carpet before I leave.

•Old toilet paper rolls as extension cord holders…

•A straw makes a quick strawberry hull

•Unused teabags in shoes 👞

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•freeze onions for 10 min before you cut them and that dampens the scent. When you’re done cutting them, rinse your hands with lemon juice. 🍋

•Put a paste of baking soda and water over a splinter and after 15 minutes or so it will pop right out!

•Also, a penny on a bee sting!

•Put your toaster on its side to make cheesy bread if you don’t have a fancy shmancy microwave like the one Mikey got for Ri 🙂

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•Rubbing alcohol gets permanent marker off of stuff! I occasionally write notes for myself with sharpies 🙂 occasionally, meaning: constantly.

•Marshmallows for sore throats… not sure how or why, but it works!

Hiccups: let a teaspoon of salt dissolve in your mouth, or drink a glass of water with a butter knife in it to monitor the consistency and duration of your intake.

•Lipbalm on paper cuts gets rid of that sting!

Baby oil hacks:

  • Makeup remover
  • Remove stickers and sticky film left behind from stickers or price tags
  • Bandaids too 🙂
  • Gets gum out of hair
  • Zipper unjamer
  • Stainless steel polish
  • Keep mosquitoes away (dryer sheets do too)
  • Remove jewelry (and stain left by not so real jewelry)
  • Remove mildew on shower curtains

Hacks shared by friends 🙂

Jason puts his coffee pot beside his bed to expedite his consumption of the heavenly beverage called coffee ☕️ (Jessica did before, too) 😂

If Blaine loans something to someone, he takes their picture holding it so he remembers who has it. Super smart!!! If Blaine would have borrowed my sunglasses, I would have this picture to remind me.

Jessica just started keeping a list of when she did things last… when she replaces household items, things like changing the fire alarm batteries or washing her windows (stuff you only do like once or twice a year) Organization!!

Chelsea is a night person and hates mornings, so she gets everything ready the night before so she can literally wake up, go to the bathroom, get dressed, get the kid dressed, and walk out the door.

She also writes herself notes on my phone of important things I need to remember. Because, lets face it, “if I don’t write it somewhere I’ll forget it.” Honesty is the best policy! I am the same way. I think that means we are spatial learners? I’ve always assumed that.

She’s a teacher and she switches classrooms at work, so she has a bin in every classroom where she puts the papers and supplies she needs for the day so she doesn’t have to sift through her paperwork in her bag at every transition. Organization at its finest!

My friend, Lindee, seems to always have something clever. She is giving credit to alcohol consumption. I, too, feel more intelligent when I consume alcohol. It makes the interpersonal communication with the general public more appealing. 🤪

If you have some hacks not mentioned, please comment them and share your knowledge!

#lifehacks #momhacks #fog #spatialintelligence #thrifty

Gray Street

On New Year’s Day, I read my dear friend, @Jesyka1vee: Wise Little Hoots blog “How to create a vision board” and was inspired to create one with my 2 older daughters. It’s a work in progress, but it’s a very good activity to do with your children and for yourself.

wiselittlehoots.com

One thing I kept emphasizing, especially to my favorite middle-daughter, is you can’t do anything wrong: it’s yours. I explained that just like her, her vision board is perfect the way it is, perfect or not.

All 3 of my beautiful girls are gifted and talented in their own ways, but my middle daughter is a perfectionist. I understand her frustration, because I too have been a perfectionist. Before therapy, I was very ‘black and white’. It’s either perfect, or it’s a disaster. What I have learned over the last couple years, I have tried to share with you through my bloggery.Don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t worry because it’s only borrowing trouble. There is a gray area.

I was heartbroken to see her so frustrated over little details, I was trying to create a fun project with the little time I get with them. I wish I could do more projects with them, namely her, to show what I’m learning in therapy. I’m beyond excited to continue the project next week.

I think we will celebrate with cheesecake, Frappuccinos, and pineapple Teavanas. 💜

To be continued...

To be continued…

✨Don’t let anything steal your joy ✨

Over the past couple of years, I have been working very hard to acquire happiness, and every day I have woke up, I’ve attained just a smidge more positivity.

I have welcomed some new friends into my life, and I’ve become closer with some familiar friends that I felt happiness when I associated with. In an attempt to come “out of my shell”, I’ve done some (rational and calculated) spur of the moment things. I’ve never liked the #yolo(you only live once), but it’s very true. Life is so short and you truly have to enjoy the time that your here.

Nobody can take away your pain, so don’t let anyone steal your happiness.

I have, unfortunately, let some inauspicious people from my past make me angry. Most of us have allowed someone to make us angry. ONE MINUTE you are angry is SIXTY SECONDS of happiness that the person who made you angry, stole. Don’t let anyone steal your happiness.

Don’t let silly little things steal your happiness

Is it really THAT big of a deal? If it’s not, don’t let the fret steal your happiness.

7 more things that steal your happiness😫:

  1. Complaining✖️: you are what you speak, the fruit of our lips is what feeds the soul.
  2. Procrastination✖️: don’t put off something that you can check off of your to do list.
  3. Gossip✖️: Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29
  4. Approval seeking✖️: being liked by everyone is over-rated.
  5. Not keeping your word✖️: keep your joy by being careful with your commitments.
  6. Negative self-talk✖️: don’t be your own worst enemy.
  7. Attachment to circumstances✖️: learn to detach from circumstances and handle change with finesse.

Happiness is not a destination, it’s a journey 🙋‍♀️

7 steps to achieve happiness:

  • Think less, feel more ✔️
  • Frown less, smile more ✔️
  • Talk less, listen more✔️
  • Judge less, accept more✔️
  • Watch less, do more✔️
  • Complain less, appreciate more✔️
  • Hate less, love more ☑️💞

For the first time in my life, I am truly happy I’m alive. I’m not perfect, and that’s ok. I’m not in a relationship, and that’s ok. There are some things that steal my happiness, but when I review the fact that I’m more focused on happiness than retaliation, it gives me peace that tomorrow will always be better because it’s one step further into my journey through life.

7 things I’m personally happy about:

  1. I have 3 beautiful daughters that I’m incredibly proud of! I may not see them as much as I would like to, but gosh, they are beautiful, smart, and God used me to create them!!!
  2. I have wonderful parents. Whether they are near or far, I know that they love me and care for me.
  3. I have loving family. They are limited, a majority of my family is emotionally distant, but there are a handful of family members that I know truly love me.
  4. I own a beautiful home. Home is where the heart is 💞
  5. I have amazing friends! I’m so thankful for each one of you, I really am. Do me a favor and think of the last time we laughed. Wasn’t that funny?! 😉
  6. I’m healthy. I may not be 100% but I’m breathing and alive. 👍
  7. I’m blessed by the Grace of God. He has given me a sound mind and a big heart that work together everyday ⭐️

#peaceful #thankful #happiness #peace #respect #daughters #family

I hope you make mistakes this year 💯

Mistakes are proof you’re trying. If you are making mistakes, you’re learning. You are growing. You are trying new things that you’ve never tried before and taking chances.

Mistakes aren’t necessarily bad. Repeating the mistakes is bad.

Don’t beat yourself up. Learn from them and move forward.

There were times in my life when I would cut myself off from society when I made a mistake. Something would blow out-of-proportion/in my face leaving me in despair, and I would go to that dark place and give myself the hardest trial imaginable. I am, and have always been, my worst enemy.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes.

Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before.

Don’t hesitate, don’t isolate, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect;

You’re not insufficient.

Whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.

I’m so very proud of my 3 daughters,they are scared to do things every morning when they wake up, but they conquer life every moment of every day.

I love you girls more than you will ever know. Thank you for teaching me to, in the words of Dori, “just keep swimming.” 🌊🐟

#mistakes #effort #strength #daughters #love

Vote for Clean Slate 2018

With christmas being over, time to start thinking of 2017 being over. What I hope to accomplish in 2018 is leaving 2017 in the past.

With a new year, we get a fresh start on not only our calendar, but our hopes and dreams.

What I hope to do is prepare for my future, and my daughters’ futures. I have full intentions of continuing to put them first.

While we prepare for the future, we have to learn to let go of the things in the past that prevent a positive outcome of future. This is a new beginning.

People that I have looked up to and trusted, have turned against me. I forgive them. I forgive myself. I could sit around listing their many faults, or listing mine, but that is not preparation toward the future.

We need to let go of the things that don’t prevent a positive outcome of the future.

Start over

Starting over takes a leap of faith. While you may have the excitement of potential possibilities and the forthcoming highway, you probably have the fear of things taken an unexpected disintegration.

Govern your regrets

As Robert Frost encapsulated, it’s debatable whether human beings tend to regret the road taken or the road not taken more.  Are your regrets things you have erroneously done, or things you faultily did not do? Use regrets productively to see where you’ve been, see where you’re going to go, and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Make a plan

Stop crying over spilled milk and get off the devil-advocacy carousel! Assign yourself a period of time (and only that time) to deliberately worry about your problem and learn from it. However, anxiety is fed by being alone, so one plan is to surround yourself with some friends you trust, and talk through your worries.

Use your imagination

  • Do what I say, not what I do
  • Make it easy to take the advice you give

Imagine your situation in a new light could give you a deeper understanding and help you to process it in a way you would advise someone else to do it. Recently, I have mentally put myself in my enemies shoes, I have remembered how I handled those dilemmas I was once presented with, and I’m embarrassed to say I acted similarly. I also realize by looking at it that way, it gave me more insight, “gosh I didn’t know the whole story when I acted like that!” Of course the situation wasn’t as complicated as mine, and I didn’t handle myself nearly as disrespectfully as others have or I could have, but by looking at it through different goggles, it gave me a different approach.

Focus your mindset

It’s not just what you’re thinking, it’s how your thinking.

  • Do you want a positive, peaceful conclusion?

or

  • Do you want to solve a problem?

So by focusing your energy on the goal, your approach isn’t working? That’s a signal to refocus your mindset so that you can reconsider all of your options.

Motivation

Be creative as you begin to think about what you want to do next, and get engrossed in things you could do that put you in flow. Crafts? Hobbies? Jump in 🙂

Never use your failure, yesterday, as an excuse for not trying again, today. We may not be able to undo damages, but we can always wipe the slate clean.

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#minniemouse #focus #love #forgiveness

Facing your fears

I had the joy of taking my young daughter to meet Santa the other day. She showed signs of fear and apprehension. When I pointed out traits that were similar to hers, or perhaps taken as , she wanted to investigate.

“Santa is over there alone, we should go say hi. He seems nice.”

“Santa nice.” She said as she nodded.

Initially, she remained hesitant and shy. I pointed out his fluffy suit. “I bet it’s soft!”

“Santa soft.” Still nodding.

“Do you want to go say hi?”

She replied, “no.” I respected her answer. I continued pointing out the positive aspects of the environment.

“Look how nice the snowman is!”

After about 10 minutes of observation and provision, the response of earlier stated question, was, “yes.”

When we endeavored Sankt Niklaus, I did it slowly and respectfully, for Pipsqueak’s sake. I made sure she was approbatory to our ascension to the Zanesville sector of North Pole. She was cautiously optimistic.

As we got closer, we sat down beside him, but I held her tightly in the safety of my scrawny, flimsy arms.

I don’t know about this, but mommy loves me and I know she’ll keep me safe…

I pointed out that he has 2 eyes, ears, a mouth, and a nose. I asked her,

“Does Santa have a nose?”

Yes mommy, he has a nose. Gosh… it’s right there.

Before I knew it, she offered her baby to hug Santa.

If my baby approves, maybe he’s not a villain.

Well, if my baby thinks he’s not a villain, maybe he’s ok… hmmmm

Moments later, she was flashing her charismatic smile.

I think I have a case of the ‘feel goods.’

I’m diggin it… I’m diggin it…

The moral of the story is…

The Pause/Proceed with Caution strategy is well understood by the name itself, is a solidity strategy that occurs when there is a pause to review the environmental conditions before advancing further into the situation. This also means that it’s important to not jump to conclusions without obtaining the factual knowledge.

If there is ever a situation that you feel the need to come to a conclusion prematurely, without sufficient thought or on incomplete evidence:

Stop. Think. Rationally evaluate.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Worldwide Photography, 2017

This is hereby declared a “rut-free” zone 🚯📈

I find it can be easy to get stuck in a rut, and even if I want to move forward with a predicament, it may feel overwhelming and/or futile. There some steps I like to take so that I can acquire the energy needed to escape this rut.

I first need to examine myself. Once I have completed the examination, I can take the first few steps forward into a better tomorrow.

What is your biggest problem with this predicament?

I’ve had to think about that recently, and I’m learning. Why would I argue over 5 minutes? I’ve already lost 5 minutes trying to decide if I wanted to argue about it. Waste of energy…

What is your feared conclusion?

If it’s cloudy, and I don’t want it to rain, I have to remember that rain makes flowers pretty. 🌈💐 Think about the negative and positive impacts that the feared conclusion has. Do you have anything that is worth worrying about? You know how the idiom goes… Worrying is borrowing trouble.

What do you hope will become of it?

Line that up with the other questions in this blog…

•If I am hoping for a beautiful day, won’t the flowers impact the day’s beauty?

•I can’t get back the 5 minutes I have lost.

What is your biggest characteristic feature that may be advantageous in this predicament?

My friend just asked me what I want to accomplish with this blog, and my answer is the same as it is any other day: I have always been a visual and linguistic learner. When I type these blogs, sometimes I have an ‘a-ha’ moment. I write down my thoughts, see them, and they click. It’s like a going to college as a hobby 🤓

My biggest characteristic feature is my desire to help others. I’m using that feature for a personal development, I’m sharing what I learn, in turn, I learn what I share. 🎀

Other things you need to make sure you do, and happen to be titles to songs music 🎶🎵:

Let it go (the past) : Mistakes and heartbreaks are best left as learning curves.

Listen to your heart : Others may offer guidance/advice. However, it could be hurtful and/or helpful. Regardless, you need to make decisions based on your own desires and ideas without worrying about what others expect of you.

Make up your mind : Not making a choice, is a choice itself. If you are consistently indecisive, it could hurt you (self-doubt) at the most crucial moments.

Right now : wouldn’t you rather fix the mistake, than worry about when it will happen?

Excuses : Something that is considered an obstacle can be overcome with little effort. Telling yourself that the obstacles are too overwhelming may be false, and it needs to stop.

No surprises : Sometimes, things do not need an explanation. Fixating on the desire for an explanation can hold you back from greater things.

Drive : Be honest with your fears, what is holding you back? Once you know your fears, learn how to let them go.

I know you’re confused, but stay strong and keep moving forward!!! What you have done so far shows that deep down, you DO desire peace. Keep that mindset and things will get better.