5lb scoop of the day💞

*Celebrate you, part 2*

I know I’ve said it before, but I will say it again. You need to celebrate you… This scoop is going to give you some insight on how and why you need to celebrate you.

It seems like other cultures don’t grapple with self-esteem as much as Americans do, perhaps because of the emphasis we seem to put on materialistic indicators of self-worth (like what kind of car you drive, what school your kids attend, what your grades are, how big a house you have, or what your title is at work).

The important thing about self-esteem, you need to appreciate your worth and take pride in your abilities/accomplishments. A lot of times we focus on our weaknesses and our faults. I’m 95% sure that you have positive abilities and accomplishments. 

Self-esteem is appreciating yourself for who you are. Celebrate you.

stop comparing. no one else is you. “The Smith’s have a nicer house then I do.” “The Johnson’s have a really nice SUV.” 

These comparisons are unfair because you don’t know as much as you think you do about these other peoples lives. You think it looks better, but it may be 100 times worse than your situation. Looks can be deceiving. The Smith’s might have a really nice home with walls that emotionally separate each member of their family. The Johnson’s might have a loveless marriage because more focus is put on the vehicle than their love. You never know. You just have to focus on you and what you can control. 

adjust your personal self image.  Maybe in high school, you were excellent at math. You could play the piano very well. You could strike-up a conversation with anyone and feel comfortable. Those things are a struggle to you now. 

Instead, I evaluate myself based upon what’s going on in my life right now, not some distant past version of me. You might struggle at math, but you make sure that your kids have breakfast every morning. You struggle at playing piano, but you have been writing poetry lately (and you’re pretty good!) You feel intimidated striking up a conversation with a stranger, but when someone disagrees with something you believe in, you’re very confident to speak up and stand for your belief. Keep adjusting your self-image and self-esteem to match your current abilities and skills, not those of your past.

get to know you a little more. Sometimes when we’re down on ourselves and our self-esteem has taken a big hit, we feel like we have nothing to offer the world or others. It may be that we simply haven’t found everything that we do have to offer — things we haven’t even considered or thought of yet. Learning what these are is simply a matter of trial and error. It’s how people become the people they’ve always wanted to become, by taking risks and trying things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.

It’s important to know your strengths and weaknesses, but it’s also important to be open to new opportunities, thoughts, viewpoints, and friends.

making mistakes is OK. Perfection is a myth. You will never have the perfect body, the perfect relationship, the perfect personality, etc. Grab a hold of your accomplishments as you receive achieve them. Don’t devalue yourself by saying, “oh I do that all the time, that’s easy for me, no big deal”

Don’t focus on your mistakes, focus on what you can learn from your mistakes. Mistakes or an opportunity for learning and for growth.

set realistic expectations! Back to the perfection comment. Perfection isn’t possible. You can always game for “perfection”, but have a realistic expectation of doing a “superb” job. 

Do you wish that your boss would stop criticizing you? Do you wish that your parents would stop criticizing you? Well, guess what? They never will. You have to let their criticism be constructive. You can’t let it affect how you view yourself. When I get criticism from others, I appreciate it, but I overly berate myself with the expectation of perfection. Check your expectations if they keep disappointing you. Your self-esteem will thank you.

take a self-esteem inventory. Grab a notepad and a pen, draw a line down the middle, Mark strengths on one side, Mark weaknesses on one side. Put 10 on each side. If you have a hard time finding 10 strengths, think about what people have said to you over the years. If you hear, “You were very good at remembering birthdays”, then guess what? You remember holidays/birthdays. “You always listen!”… 

You can’t fix what you don’t know. And I have learned over the years and have been advised by my mother that making lists is very helpful and it absolutely is. Pay attention to this list. Maybe focus on one of the weaknesses a week and try to overcome it. Set realistic weaknesses. I’m disabled and have a hard time walking, I’m not going to list a weakness of ice-skating. You have to spend A fair amount of time identifying irrational thoughts, and what not.

So a final thought: People with a good and healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They also acknowledge that while they’re not perfect and have faults, those faults don’t play an overwhelming or irrationally large role in their lives or their own self-image (how you see yourself).💜

Brelfie

There is a new trend called a brelfie. It’s a breastfeeding selfie. You can edit the picture with “tree of life”, and it’s a beautiful thing. I have attached mine. It shows where the roots are and where the blossoms are. 

5lb Scoop: Love you 💞

Everyone’s heard this cliche fact: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. We need to be taught to love aspects of ourselves–again and again–by the people around us.

As much as we want to control our future, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most unsure and most tender. When that happens, we feel freedom and relief and permission to love in a deeper way. No amount of positive self-talk can replicate this experience.

Yet if our vulnerability is met with derision or disinterest, something tender shrivels and retracts within us, and we may think twice about ever sharing that part again. In a Chipmunks episode, Simon falls head over heels in love, but has no idea how to win the (chip)girl’s heart. Dave exhorts him, “Just be yourself.” In response, Simon wails, “I tried that already!” When our authentic self doesn’t work in the world, we create a false self which lets us feel safe and accepted–but at significant cost. 

Imagine taking a pet you love and putting it in a yard with an invisible electric fence. When it moves outside its allowed space, it gets stunned by an unexpected shock. It will only take a few jolts before your pet gets the message: if it goes too far, punishment will be instantaneous. In a short period of time, your pet won’t act as if the borders even exist; it will simply avoid them. If pushed closer to the danger zone, it will exhibit increasing signs of anxiety. The world outside the fence just isn’t worth the pain.

Now imagine turning off the charge from the invisible fence, and then placing a bowl of food outside its perimeter. Your pet might be starving, but it will still be terrified to enter into the newly free space. And when it finally crosses the line, it does so with trembling; anticipating the pain of new shocks. It is the same with us; even though we yearn for the freedom of our true self, some deep reflexive instinct still tries to protect us from being hurt again.

We can each learn more about our true and false selves by answering these two questions:

* What parts of your authentic self did you have to hide or camouflage in your childhood?

* In your current relationships, where are you confined to too small a space? What parts of yourself are you not expressing?
When we suppress these challenging gifts, we’re left with a sense of emptiness and loneliness.

This shame around our most vulnerable attributes is almost universal. And even our best thinking will barely budge it.

So, how do we free ourselves? The best, sometimes the only, way out is through relationships; relationships which instruct us in the worth of our most vulnerable self.

Of the people you know, who sees and relishes your true self? Who isn’t too afraid of your passion, or too envious of your gifts? Who has the generosity of spirit to encourage you toward greater self-expression? These people are gold. Practice leaning on them more, and giving more back to them. 


5lb scoop of the day: celebrate you 🎉

Stop comparing yourself with others. Try to understand that some have it better than you, but many have it much worse. When we make ourselves miserable by comparing ourselves with others, we are wasting time and energy that we could use in building our own inner resources. Compliment yourself every morning. Being happy makes you a more positive person, which helps you put those positive vibes out into the world.

You have your own unique gifts and talents. Focus on sharing them with the world instead of focusing on the gifts of another. 

5lb scoop of the day: be a good person😊

Determine what being a good person means to you personally. Some people think that being a good person is as simple as not doing harm to another. But it is not always about what you don’t do, but what you do for others. Being a good person also includes ➡️helping yourself as much as others. ⬅️

You have to decide what you believe being a good person entails.
What is your ideal person? Make a list of traits that you believe make up a good, ideal person. Start living your life according to these traits.

Are you waiting for something in return? 

Are you doing things because it will help you look good? 

Or are you doing things because you truly want to give and help? 

Stop putting up airs and adopt the attitude of giving without expectation of receiving anything in return. 💯

Very first “5lb Scoop of the Day”: pay it forward

On Facebook, we used to have “breastfeeding tips of the day”, but here, I’m going to call them 5lb scoops 🙂 

Today is our premier scoop of day: encourage someone. If you see a girl with a really cute shirt, tell her you like her shirt. I mean, if she’s not on the phone or busy with something. If she gives you a mean look and walks away, meh. What are you out? More than likely, she’ll say thank you. And more than likely she needed to hear that at the moment you said it. 

When I do little things like that, it makes me so happy. It’s kind of along the lines of “Pay It Forward”. If you haven’t seen that movie, look up the trailer. Do something nice for someone else and save the world. 

Make your day brighter while making someone else’s day brighter! I call that a “twofer” 😊

Happy Birthday to my eldest Purpose, Emma Leigh Anne! 

This girl is such a blessing to me. She’s such a smart, beautiful, unique young lady. Her personality impresses me. She will never know how much I love her, but I’m going to spend my life trying to show her. I’m so so proud to call her my eldest Purpose.

I’m proud of her. I love you so much, Emma. I hope you have a wonderful 14th birthday 💜