We all know the the last few years have been rough. Not just on me, on almost everyone. I can’t say I’m the only person that struggles, I know I am not the only one.
Life can be hard!
What I have learned is that a cliche quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, that I have attempted to live by most of my life, is very true:
Most of you know my story. I woke up from a coma, and had lost nearly everything. My body. My baby. My house. My boyfriend. My job. My independence. Quite a bit.Thankfully my daughters were not physically harmed… And thankfully I SURVIVED (it has taken me years to understand that 😊).
I was so thankful that my parents were by my side. There were other
people from my past by my side, and I was vulnerable and naive. Those people from my past were mentally preparing for my death. I had a difficult time coping with the events that occured, as I have previously discussed. I thought my failed marriage was going to rekindle due to the fact my ex-husband and his mother had sat by my side nearly the entire time I was in the hospital.
On what would have been our 12th anniversary, he revealed to me that he had no interest in rekindling the family I was working so hard to redeem, mentally and physically. It put my arbitrarily poor mental health into a most-damaging state. I have accepted that there are bitter emotions on both sides, but there is no reciprocal effort for peace.
I have spent the last 3 years attempting to and successfully improving myself. I am really proud of how far I have come. Unfortunately in that time, I have allowed quite a few people to manipulate me, but I’m no longer beating myself up, I’m learning and I’m growing. There have been lies upon lies being either constructed or conceived as truthful by a number of people (myself included).
I just don’t know what to believe.
I can only go by facts. Hatred and hostility,anger and arbitration, cruelty and coarseness are being disembogued.
There is evil in the world, I know that for a fact. My parents have made an effort to instill in me that you CAN NOT trust anyone but yourself💯. I have always had a big heart and tried to trust quite a few people, but I am realizing I could not and should not. It’s very unfortunate.
The moral of this heartfelt rant:
You have to stay positive and optimistic, even in the darkest of times.
You have to trust yourself, and if you can not, work toward improving yourself to the point where you can.
You have to trust in The Power that controls your life. My God is the power that controls mine.
I’m thankful for the few people that I know I can, reciprocally, depend on to listen to me scream/cry and celebrate our individual victories.
I told a dear-friend today that it makes my heart super-happy to celebrate their victories with them, and it really does give me joy.
Most of all, I’m thankful for my father, Rick, my mother, Pam, and my Creator.
I love you all. 💜
Thank you for visiting, come again soon (:
*if you ever need to vent, I have an ear, shoulder, and heart. EMAIL ME. It will get better! Sending positive vibes🌈✨😊✨