I apologize and give my appreciation in advance to you for reading this. This entry is, basically, pouring my heart out. I’m not sure who reads these, if anyone, but I’m not writing it for you. Google ‘journaling therapy’ to get more facts on this process. It really is helping me.
- Help us release what we truly feel on the inside
- Give us a better understanding of our point of view, as well as encourage us to view others points of view
- A life story, including the opportunity to go back and review later
- Get to know yourself. Do introspect and evaluate whether you need to make changes
- Pass it down. Someday, my daughters will view this and see how hard I’m working to become a better person.
- Process your feelings. When you write them, you get them out of your heart so that your mind can process them.
If you are down on yourself alot, journaling is a great way to get around this and discover that your life is truly worth living.
My friends, Ri and Mikey, have been such a huge support to me during my veganistic transition, in addition to putting up with me quite a bit for non-vegan related matters🤦♀️. I do enjoy Mikey and I’s Youtube binge-sessions and look forward to Ri and I’s Brooklyn 99 binge-sessions, now that I showed her why Gina Linetti is my spirit animal. 🐺🐭😂
I spent some time with my great Aunt and Uncle today, and we talked quite a bit about not only how awesome my parents are, and how my dad can build a Lowe’s Distribution Center with rubber cement and a stick, but how when you stop and think about it, we have a lot to be thankful for.
My parents raised me well, and it has taken, what, (how old am I, 30😉)35 years to grasp how I need to take care of the things I have. A good friend of mine asked me yesterday what I wanted for Christmas… a big thing. I couldn’t think of a thing! If there is something I need, I sell stuff on eBay or Facebook marketplace to get the money for it. If I don’t really need it, I end up talking myself out of it. I don’t know if it’s maturity, self-respect, or both… but…
I’m content with the blessings I have. I have a beautiful home, I’m (somewhat) healthy, 3 beautiful daughters, quite a few friends, loving parents, a confident/accomplished attorney that has faith in me, hope, self-assurance, and God.
I miss my daughters quite a bit.
I’m doing everything I can to grow from the depression that had consumed me for years, and detonated when I had my accident in 2015. I’ve never been a perfect person, but in 2009 my heart was irreparably broken and I didn’t handle it well.
My faith in God took a hit, I started taking things in my life for granted, thankfully I never abused drugs or alcohol, but I buried my problems with work and failed relationships. When I had my accident, I left a mess and 2 months later, I woke up to a bigger mess, and a broken heart. I tried to repair that mess with a relationship that encouraged me to compromise my integrity, thus putting me into a deeper depression and causing more problems for myself.
Toward the end of that mistake, I got diagnosed, psychologically, and everything that held me down for years, clicked. Unfortunately, that mistake has done irreparable damage, and the person on the other end of the mistake does not want to accept responsibility for his mistakes, or forgive. It’s sad, but given the brief time we socialized, I recall a dark-side that is very troubled. I, sincerely, hope that person can rise from that stronghold and become a better person. Only time will tell.
The silver-lining is that all of this mess forced me to take responsibility for my mistakes and my life, participate in therapy to learn from and grow, not just for my daughters,but for me. Despite the oubliette I am in, I’m in the strongest place, mentally, I’ve ever been. I’m truly happy and I can enjoy life. I have a confidence and self-respect I’ve never had, and it grows by the day. I’m not consumed with hatred because that would give my enemies energy that I want to keep, selfishly.
Wow. This was a lot longer than I planned. Thank you for reading and send positive vibes, please. ✌️