Put your money where your mouth is ☺️

I’m learning to respect myself and it’s giving me more confidence to talk to people. I’m slowly learning to handle myself more appropriate with people I talk to, which I haven’t always done. That incorporated with being my own worst enemy was a bad combination.

I’m accepting responsibility for that deficiency.

I have my youngest daughter to thank for teaching me to focus on making myself a better person, along with her being the inspiration for 5lb Purpose. Whenever I see a pregnant mother, or a mother with a newborn, I take her a business card and offer our Facebook support group if she intends on breastfeeding. I have met some wonderful ladies by doing that. 💜💜💜

I went to my favorite thrift store today and the cashier stated that she sees me in often, and often she can tell something is bothering me, but she said she can also see I’m trying very hard to smile and stay strong. She also told me she was praying for me. That strength that God is giving me, I can not take credit for.Emotionally, I am in the best place I have ever been, despite the turmoil that tries to consume my life. Shortly after I left there, I stopped by another store. There was a gentleman looking at cords and plugs. Because of the courage 5lb Purpose has given me, I started an interesting conversation with said gentleman about one of my new obsessions, smart plugs. Then we discussed the security cameras in my house. We stood their and chat for, roughly, 4 hours😂. I walked away with a big smile on my face because I am learning that by accepting responsibility for my past and putting forth effort to move forward, I encounter some great people and hold decorous conversations ☺️ Yesterday, I stopped by one of past boyfriend’s grandmother’s house to chat. We held a very good conversation and I remembered so many good memories that I had with her. I was able to apologetically accept responsibility for my past, and thankfully she suggested we leave it there. We had a great visit and great conversation.

I’m learning to respect myself before I try to respect anyone else.

As hard as it was to take that first step, I’m so thankful I did because tomorrow isn’t promised. I have a lot of good memories with him and his family, I will hold on to those.

It’s unfortunate that I can’t repair some of the situations in my past because there are certain people that have made it impossible for me to reason with them. They’ve negatively made up their mind about me, and that’s unfortunate. It wouldn’t be that much of a concern if it didn’t involve my daughters… There is so much animosity, hatred, and war.

I want peace, but for that to happen, the strategy must be reciprocal.

13 thoughts on “Put your money where your mouth is ☺️

  1. We want to get along! And I am putting forth effort for that, you just can’t see it yet, but believe me I’m in your court right now. And yes let’s keep the past I’m the past please with no more speaking of us negatively and we will do the same and everything will be fine😁😁😁

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    1. I completely agree the past needs to stay in the past. I just want peace. I have stuff that I have wanted to give them but I’m not able to even offer. If everyone could all sit down and talk, there could be a mutual agreement reached. I don’t want war.


  2. I hope that we are all maturing and we will be able to get along. I know it’s been a long road, but we have to let the past be in the past and build a new bridge.
    I want to make this work.
    Alyssa is far more important than the qualms that I have.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am willing to start over with you, but It’s hard for me to want to start over when I continue to read this stuff. And No, he does not call me a cumslut or anything of that sort, thanks for asking though 😊
    I know you are just trying to vent and doing this for therapy, but I don’t think that therapy is suppose to hurt other people.
    But anyway I’m starting over and just know I am rooting for you👩‍👩‍👧


    1. Unfortunately, I believe this was a lie. Starting over requires effort and I have yet to see such. I pray for my daughter’s sake you decide to put forth effort for peace, not war.


  4. I think you are an incredibly amazing woman and hold onto someday soon there will be peace and tranquility. I am not sure what mistakes you have made in the past but you are right “let them go”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Honestly, my mistakes weren’t horrible, given the way the world is today, I didn’t handle the breakup well and contacted him too many times. I wasn’t the only one making mistakes, but I’m the only one taking responsibility. When I was at the lowest part of my life, my boyfriend’s pet name for me was, “obedient c*msl*t”. I have yet to hear an apology, and I pray he doesn’t allow any boy to call Alyssa that. I’m not saying anything bad about him, we just had different ideas on certain topics.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wait… didn’t you guys break up right around the time he found out you were pregnant?? 6 months earlier you almost died in a car crash, what woman in your situation wouldn’t flip out!!! You are so strong, I’m sorry you’re going through this. They are some pretty dirty people, but you’re not letting them get you down. Chin up!

        And he called you WHAT? I wonder if he calls his new girlfriend that.

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