*Celebrate you, part 2*
I know I’ve said it before, but I will say it again. You need to celebrate you… This scoop is going to give you some insight on how and why you need to celebrate you.
It seems like other cultures don’t grapple with self-esteem as much as Americans do, perhaps because of the emphasis we seem to put on materialistic indicators of self-worth (like what kind of car you drive, what school your kids attend, what your grades are, how big a house you have, or what your title is at work).
The important thing about self-esteem, you need to appreciate your worth and take pride in your abilities/accomplishments. A lot of times we focus on our weaknesses and our faults. I’m 95% sure that you have positive abilities and accomplishments.
Self-esteem is appreciating yourself for who you are. Celebrate you.
These comparisons are unfair because you don’t know as much as you think you do about these other peoples lives. You think it looks better, but it may be 100 times worse than your situation. Looks can be deceiving. The Smith’s might have a really nice home with walls that emotionally separate each member of their family. The Johnson’s might have a loveless marriage because more focus is put on the vehicle than their love. You never know. You just have to focus on you and what you can control.
adjust your personal self image. Maybe in high school, you were excellent at math. You could play the piano very well. You could strike-up a conversation with anyone and feel comfortable. Those things are a struggle to you now.
Instead, I evaluate myself based upon what’s going on in my life right now, not some distant past version of me. You might struggle at math, but you make sure that your kids have breakfast every morning. You struggle at playing piano, but you have been writing poetry lately (and you’re pretty good!) You feel intimidated striking up a conversation with a stranger, but when someone disagrees with something you believe in, you’re very confident to speak up and stand for your belief. Keep adjusting your self-image and self-esteem to match your current abilities and skills, not those of your past.
get to know you a little more. Sometimes when we’re down on ourselves and our self-esteem has taken a big hit, we feel like we have nothing to offer the world or others. It may be that we simply haven’t found everything that we do have to offer — things we haven’t even considered or thought of yet. Learning what these are is simply a matter of trial and error. It’s how people become the people they’ve always wanted to become, by taking risks and trying things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.
It’s important to know your strengths and weaknesses, but it’s also important to be open to new opportunities, thoughts, viewpoints, and friends.
making mistakes is OK. Perfection is a myth. You will never have the perfect body, the perfect relationship, the perfect personality, etc. Grab a hold of your accomplishments as you receive achieve them. Don’t devalue yourself by saying, “oh I do that all the time, that’s easy for me, no big deal”
Don’t focus on your mistakes, focus on what you can learn from your mistakes. Mistakes or an opportunity for learning and for growth.
Do you wish that your boss would stop criticizing you? Do you wish that your parents would stop criticizing you? Well, guess what? They never will. You have to let their criticism be constructive. You can’t let it affect how you view yourself. When I get criticism from others, I appreciate it, but I overly berate myself with the expectation of perfection. Check your expectations if they keep disappointing you. Your self-esteem will thank you.
take a self-esteem inventory. Grab a notepad and a pen, draw a line down the middle, Mark strengths on one side, Mark weaknesses on one side. Put 10 on each side. If you have a hard time finding 10 strengths, think about what people have said to you over the years. If you hear, “You were very good at remembering birthdays”, then guess what? You remember holidays/birthdays. “You always listen!”…
You can’t fix what you don’t know. And I have learned over the years and have been advised by my mother that making lists is very helpful and it absolutely is. Pay attention to this list. Maybe focus on one of the weaknesses a week and try to overcome it. Set realistic weaknesses. I’m disabled and have a hard time walking, I’m not going to list a weakness of ice-skating. You have to spend A fair amount of time identifying irrational thoughts, and what not.
So a final thought: People with a good and healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They also acknowledge that while they’re not perfect and have faults, those faults don’t play an overwhelming or irrationally large role in their lives or their own self-image (how you see yourself).💜